Now, normally, I’d be beating myself up about that. Focusing so hard on what I didn’t do that I completely ignore everything I did manage.

But not this time.

Instead, I’ve been thinking about spring cleaning, not just the second bedroom I’m slowly transforming (you don’t want to hear about that saga), but spring as a time to refresh, reset, and repot.

Yes, even my plants are getting a makeover (especially my plants are getting care).
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I’ve also been refreshing my commitment to my intentions and reflecting on something that always helps me find my footing: my strengths.

Why focus on strengths?
Your strengths are the things that come naturally to you, skills and qualities you use with ease, sometimes without even realising. Some are innate, others you’ve worked to develop over time.

​They’re part of your foundation.

They help to support you when life gets challenging. They help you bounce back, step up, and move forward. They’re what people rely on you for, and what you can rely on in yourself.
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Some strengths you use every day. Others you save for specific situations. But together, they shape how you show up in the world.

Want to uncover your strengths?
Start by reflecting on this:
Think back to a time when things were hard—personally or professionally.

• What helped you get through it?
• What skills, habits, or attitudes did you lean on?

Chances are, that’s where your strengths live.
This month, I’ll be diving deeper into the theme of strengths:

• how to name them
• use them,
• and embrace them confidently (and yes, without feeling like you’re bragging).

It’s part of the spring refresh I’m encouraging us all to take on, gently, intentionally, and with kindness toward ourselves.

As a teenager, I tried setting resolutions a few times, but I didn’t like how they made me feel—so I’ve never used them again. Instead, I start my year with reflection, reviewing my happy jar, and planning with intention rather than rigid goals. It helps that my birthday is in January, so I feel like I have several new starts.
I'm not here to tell you what to do, but I encourage you to try something different until you find what works for you. This year, why not consider setting intentions instead of resolutions?

Set Intentions, Not Resolutions
​What does that mean?

Resolutions often feel like rigid checklists—lose weight, get a promotion, save money. They focus on external outcomes and can feel limiting. Intentions, however, focus on growth and alignment with your values rather than fixed targets.

Instead of saying, "I want to lose 10 pounds," try, "I want to feel stronger and more confident in my clothes."
Intentions give you the flexibility to adapt and adjust when life doesn’t go as planned—because, let’s be honest, it rarely does.

Reflect Before You Plan (no one is surprised I said this!)
Before diving into your intentions, take a moment to reflect on the past year. What went well? What challenges did you face? What do you want to carry forward?

Reflection offers clarity and helps you avoid setting goals based on external pressure. Reflecting on your experiences provides valuable insights that can guide your intentions for the year ahead.

If you need additional guidance, check out my previous blogs and posts on reflection to help you get started.

Be Flexible and Kind to Yourself
Change isn’t linear, and growth takes time. One of the biggest challenges with traditional goal-setting or resolutions is the all-or-nothing mentality. When things don’t go perfectly, it’s easy to feel like you’ve failed and give up.

Setting intentions this year will give you the flexibility to pivot when needed. Small, consistent steps over time often lead to more lasting change than dramatic leaps. Most importantly, be kind to yourself throughout the process.

Let’s Make 2025 Meaningful
As you continue through 2025, I encourage you to reflect, set meaningful intentions, and stay flexible. Importantly, don't forget that you don’t have to set your goals in January or stick to a strict timeline. Do it when it feels right for you.
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What are your intentions for this year? Share them with me in the comments—I’d love to hear them!

My Story: Applying for a Job I Didn’t Want

After spending some time as a Senior Teaching Fellow, I felt this nagging sense that I had more to contribute. I wanted to grow, to challenge myself, and to do more at the university.
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But here’s the thing: my inner critic had other ideas. It was throwing statements like:

• “No one will take you seriously.”
• “You won’t stand out among the candidates.”
• “You’re not enough.”

(Sound familiar?)

Despite the doubts swirling in my head, I started noticing job postings. I read through the descriptions and thought, “Actually, I could do that.” Then one day, a position came up.

It wasn’t a role I wanted. In fact, a friend of mine was applying, and I thought she was a better fit.
But I realised something important: I needed management to see me.

The line manager who had hired me was gone, and no one on the current team really knew me, my ambitions, or my experience. I needed to change that—and this was my chance.

So, I applied. I prepped like crazy, practiced answering all the questions I could think of, and (this is big for me) I even wore a dress and makeup 😊. I gave it my best shot, and though I didn’t get the job, I got something even more valuable: I got noticed.

During the feedback session, my line manager admitted they were surprised by my application but impressed by my interview. More importantly, they didn’t realise I was interested in progressing at the university.

That changed everything. The next time a role came up, someone called me before it was advertised to ask if I would apply.

All because I took that first, uncomfortable step.

Why Signalling Change Matters

We can’t expect people to read our minds or even notice our work sometimes, no matter how good it is. You have to signal your readiness for change—whether it’s through applying for a job, speaking up about your goals, or simply showing people what you can do.

It’s about taking a risk and saying: “This is what I want, and here’s why I’m ready.”

Negative thoughts are particularly close to my heart for several reasons:

• Personal experience: I’ve faced my own battles with a loud and demanding inner critic and want to help others overcome similar challenges.
• Common challenge: Many of my clients struggle with negative self-talk.
• Empathy & concern: I often hear family, friends, and clients express self-doubt with surprising confidence. It’s eye-opening and worrying to see how deeply ingrained these negative beliefs can be.

Bridging the Gap: From Awareness to Action
As Shirley MacLaine wisely said, "Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power." Recognizing the impact of negative thoughts is the first step toward change, but awareness alone isn’t enough. You need practical tools to take action, and that’s exactly why I developed my Reframe Your Negative Thoughts Toolkit.
This toolkit is an even more tangible way for me to help you than March’s blog. It provides you with everything you need to understand and begin reframing your negative thoughts.

What’s Inside the Toolkit – and Why You Should Download It:

• Video guide: Learn about the origins of negative thoughts, how they affect your personal development, and get instructions on how to work through the exercises in your workbook.
• Workbook: Engage in structured exercises that provide space for reflection and offer practical steps to reframe your negative thoughts, helping you challenge your inner critic.
• Example workbook: For those who learn better visually, this version provides concrete examples to make the process easier and more relatable.

Key Benefits:

• Gain Insight: Understand the origins of your negative self-talk and how it holds you back.
• Practical Activities: Take actionable steps to reframe your thoughts and shift your mindset.
• Enhanced Self-Awareness: Start building a more positive self-perception and gain tools for personal growth.

Take Action: Join a growing community of individuals ready to challenge their inner critic and confidently grow!

​Don’t let negative thoughts hold you back any longer. Pre-register now to get exclusive early access on the 31st!

Also, don't miss TG’s Reflection & Gratitude Hour—a monthly audio-only event. My first edition is this Friday at 6pm UK time (1pm Barbados time). I’ll guide you through reflection and gratitude practices to help you start or maintain a positive mindset.
 
Just a reminder of why reflection matters
Reflection isn’t just about looking back—it’s about learning from your experiences. It helps you:

• Understand your strengths and areas for growth.
• Make more informed decisions.
• Build resilience by turning setbacks into learning experiences.

Turning Reflection into Action: 3 Simple Steps
So, how do you turn reflection into action? Here are three quick ways to make it happen:

1. Set Clear Goals - Use what you’ve learned from reflection to set specific, actionable goals. Instead of vague ideas, break them into small, manageable tasks. For example, if you’ve realized you thrive in team settings, set a goal to seek out more collaborative opportunities.
2.  Create a Plan -  Turn those goals into a plan. Map out steps and set milestones to stay on track. Make sure your plan is realistic—small wins will keep you motivated.
3.  Reflect Regularly - Action doesn’t stop reflection! Keep checking in with yourself: What’s working? What needs to change? By reflecting regularly, you can adjust your plan and stay aligned with your goals

Reflection is a powerful tool for learning and growth. But it doesn’t stop there, turning what you’ve learned into action is the key to making progress.

Join TG’s Reflection & Gratitude Hour 
I’m giving you permission—make yourself and your growth your priority, and join me for TG’s Reflection & Gratitude Hour this Friday. In this audio-only event, I’ll guide you through a reflection exercise and a gratitude practice to keep you focused and positive. Let me help you move forward with clarity and confidence!

Growth Mindset: what is it and why is it important?
What is it?
According to a great video by Harvard Business Review, a growth mindset is essentially, not just relying on your talent but understanding that talent can be developed through hard work, good strategies and input from others.

Why is it important?
Now that we have a basic understanding of what a growth mindset is, let's explore why this mindset can be a powerful tool for personal development and lasting success. The video and its accompanying article highlights that people with a growth mindset tend to achieve more than those with a fixed mindset. I love this line “This is because they worry less about looking smart and put more energy into learning.”

The personal development coach, the teacher and the continual learner in me loves this concept and can understand why it has become such a buzzword. I hope it's also clear that growth mindset is important to you, not just because I love it, but because it gives you an opportunity to continue learning, and achieve more by stepping outside your boundaries, fears and comfort zone to grow. Importantly for women and people of colour, a growth mindset also helps you to build resilience which is crucial to overcome the unique challenges you face when you challenge the status quo.  

How do you develop a growth mindset?

• Surround yourself with a supportive team: I know I say this a lot, but your team makes a HUGE difference. If you surround yourself with people who will encourage, challenge and support you, then a growth mindset will follow.
• Learn from constructive criticism: Accept constructive criticism and use it as a tool for improvement. 
• Embrace a love of learning & actively seek learning opportunities: Seek out new knowledge and new ways to learn. Remember that even (or is that especially) your failures provide you these opportunities.
• Develop self-awareness: Make time to identify the situations, thoughts & feelings that cause you to doubt yourself and consciously work to change your thinking.

Words of caution & encouragement
We don't all have a growth mindset in all areas of our lives. In many cases we have a combination of a growth and fixed mindset, so this is not going to come automatically to everyone. But with the effort, time, and strategies put in place you can achieve more, and you can confidently grow in the areas that are important to your happiness and success. This is your journey! Make the most of it!

If you are ready to take the challenging steps towards your confident growth, and successful future, I am here to support you with my signature 1:1 coaching programme ‘The Developmental’ Curve’. 

​Cultivating self-confidence and assertiveness
Women and people of colour often encounter societal pressures and stereotypes that can undermine their confidence and assertiveness. Coaching sessions provide a safe and supportive environment to cultivate these essential traits.

In our sessions, we focus on self-awareness & confidence building. Laura’s confidence grew with her coaching sessions.

Client testimonial: Laura’s Story
“The coaching sessions with Tara allowed me space to explore and think about my career and how I wanted to progress. The process was very helpful in identifying goals and actions I could achieve in order to progress within my career. 

In addition, I feel that the sessions helped me to build more confidence and the ability to look at things from all angles. I was very comfortable with Tara as my coach and would definitely use her coaching services again.”

Navigating Challenges
Navigating challenges is part of the personal development journey, as I have heard a lot more recently, “you don’t grow in comfort.” For women and people of colour, these challenges can also include systemic biases and microaggressions that negatively impact your sense of self-worth.

In our sessions, I support you as you develop strategies to face your changes and improve your resilience. Cherisse’s coaching sessions helped her to navigate significant challenges.

Client Testimonial: Cherisse’s Story
“I started coaching with Tara at a point in my life where I felt like I was ‘spinning out of control.’ Working with Tara helped me to not only set SMART goals but to be able to prioritise the things I needed to do and to be able to say no to taking on extra tasks out of obligation or ‘guilt’. Not only was Tara knowledgeable and professional all throughout our sessions but she exhibited a warmth and a sense of compassion which made this process much more engaging and fun. I never thought that I needed ‘coaching’ but having gone through this experience I am committed to continued work with Tara and would encourage others to do so.”

Coaching is a powerful tool for personal development that helps you to:

• set clear goals for your future
• learn about who you are - your strengths, values and skills
• become confident in your ability to achieve what you set out to achieve &
• overcome the challenges along your journey while being true to yourself

If you are ready to take the challenging steps towards your successful future, join the September cohort of my signature one-to-one coaching programme, The Developmental Curve.

Click below to get details and join the waiting list. ​

Minority Environments: knock! knock! knock!
As a woman or person of colour being in minority environments is one of those situations that can give your confidence a knock. That minority environment could be:

• Being one of a few women in a male dominated industry
• Being the only person of colour in the room (as has happened to me a lot)
• Being the only woman or person of colour on a leadership committee or at a particular level of leadership at your workplace

Many of us have been in these situations and have felt uncertain. We have thought, I better prove my worth first before I say anything here. And though it is okay to get the lay of the land, you have nothing to prove. You are already ‘in the room where it happens.’

What is confidence: do I really need it?
Do you remember how you felt that first time you were sure you KNEW how to do something? I remember when I GOT simultaneous equations, I knew without a doubt that I could do it. It was a Saturday in lessons with Mr. Haynes at The Combermere School in Barbados. That feeling still represents confidence to me. I KNEW I could do it, and though one or two equations may have challenged me, I was confident I had it, and I approached those questions with a new attitude.

Confidence is a cornerstone of personal development, when you KNOW you can, your attitude, decisions and actions reflect that. Confidence is rooted in self-awareness, authenticity, and a healthy sense of self-esteem. It can:

• help drive you towards success, advancement in your career and happiness
• act as a shield against microaggressions and empower you to navigate challenges
• help you to speak up and/or advocate for your ideas with conviction
• motivate you to apply for that leadership role or opportunity that at one point felt unattainable

Confidence building strategies

1. Know your worth – Make a list of your accomplishments, skills and experience. This reminder will help you to recognise that you bring a valuable perspective to any situation. Please celebrate your successes and keep adding them to the list.
2. Set Clear Boundaries – Now this is a hard one, but it is essential! By setting clear boundaries you protect your energy and preserve your sense of self-worth. Sometimes you have to say no to situations or people who undermine your confidence or drain your energy. If you can’t avoid these situations, recognise how they affect you and take the time to replenish your energy soon after.
3. Practice Assertive Communication – Using ‘I’ statements, active listening, maintaining eye contact are all assertive communication techniques that you can use to affirm yourself respectfully and effectively.
4. Practice Self-compassion – This is SO important! That negative inner voice is what we are often fighting, especially if we have internalised stereotypes and other’s perceptions. Be kind to yourself! Remember that setbacks are part of growth and it’s okay to feel vulnerable. So, give yourself some time to feel what you feel, apply some self-care and then get back up!

​Most importantly, please also remember that you do not have to do it alone. Having a supportive network to remind you of your worth, listen to your concerns, who have also lived the minority experience can be empowering.

Let me help you
Coaching is a space where you are the sole focus, you will feel seen, heard, understood and will not be judged. As a woman of colour & personal development coach I want to give you that space to build your confidence, remember what makes you great, know your worth and grow.

Click here to get details and join the waiting list for my signature programme ‘The Developmental Curve’. 

​My own comparisons
I remember a period where I really was not fond of Beyonce (yes, this is still allowed), because she is 4 months older than me (only 4 months) and every time I compared myself to her, I felt like a humongous failure. She is gorgeous, black, rich, and has a successful singing career.  
It was even worse when I compared myself to my friends because they had similar backgrounds and opportunities to me, so if they could be successful what was I doing wrong? Maybe I just did not have what it took. It felt to me like they all got management positions, marriages, houses and/or children, years before I could even consider it and weren’t those the signs of success society accepted: a ‘significant’ salary, managing a team, a ‘wedded’ partner, a mortgage and someone to carry on your line?

The negative effects of comparison
Even a quick look at my own comparisons demonstrates how negatively those thoughts were to me. Comparing ourselves to others can distort our reality and make us overlook what we have achieved, the wins we should be celebrating and how our own journey has shaped us into ourselves. We can lose sight of:

• our resilience
• our talent
• the people we may have helped
• the joys we have celebrated and shared
• our personal growth, among so many other things

It is so important to remember that the snippets we see on social media or when we attend a party are often curated highlights, not the full story. This selective visibility can make others' lives seem flawless and our own lives lacking by comparison. Such comparisons can stifle our motivation, making us feel like we're not progressing fast enough or that our accomplishments are insignificant.

How to escape comparison: Focus on your own journey!
One effective strategy to stop comparing yourself to others in a negative way is to focus on your own journey. This challenges you to shift your perspective from external validation to finding internal satisfaction. Look at what you have done and where you are now. Celebrate or acknowledge your own achievements, recognise and appreciate your progress, it’s yours! You can then start to develop a sense of self-achievement that is based on your own goals, values and what you want to achieve rather than what ‘society’ or someone else tells you are the measures of success or happiness.

A few practical ways to help you focus on your journey

1. Self-reflection – Reflect on how you have grown! Set aside time daily or weekly to reflect on what you have accomplished, recognise your progress and appreciate your journey
2. Cultivate Gratitude – I will do a blog on this soon, but a gratitude journal helps you to focus on what you have, rather than what you don’t
3. Limit Socia Media Time – Rather than spending lots of time comparing yourself to other’s curated snippets, spend more time developing your own skills and focus on what makes you happy
4. Seek Inspiration, not negative comparison – when looking at others’ achievement, let their journeys inspire you rather than serve as a measuring stick for your own worth

​By focusing on you: your journey, your growth, your achievements, your joys, you can appreciate where you are and what you have done. You can be much more content with what you have, what you are capable of doing, and where you can be if you continue on your personal development journey. 

​Why does self-reflection matter?
I first got taught about reflective practices and reflection as part of my training to be a teacher in Higher Education (shout out to the CUTL team). We were taught to review our teaching sessions, figure out what worked, what didn’t and use that information and feedback to continually improve as teachers.

I therefore naturally fell into being self-reflective because this practice really helped me as a teacher, so why not use it to better understand myself? I asked myself things like:

• How did some experiences make me feel?
• What did I really enjoy?
• What really made me happy?
• What made me sad?
• What do I do well?
• What strengths or skills can I transfer to new challenges?

Self-reflection helped me to better understand myself. But self-reflection does more than that, it also helps you make informed decisions based on what you know about yourself. It helps you to build resilience because you have thought about and learned from previous challenges and can use that knowledge and those skills to help you overcome future ones.

Why is planning important?
Now, many persons who know me well, know that I AM a planner and absolutely LOVE a to do list. I tend to focus on events, particularly get-togethers with friends that include food and cake. However, planning also plays an important role in your personal development journey and I love that I can take something I am good at to help me grow and be better.

Planning helps to keep you focused on your personal development as your plans should be getting you where you want to be and achieving what you want. Good plans include milestones or several smaller steps or tasks to make it manageable, so meeting any of these milestones helps with keeping you motivated (think about how good you feel when you tick something off your list). Finally, planning helps you to get better at knowing the amount of time and effort you will need for specific tasks.

Why do these two go so well together?
These two activities work wonderfully together! While self-reflection helps you to understand yourself and clarifies where you are now, planning helps you to look to the future and decide how you will get there based on what you already know.
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This synergy is why I put these two together in the Reflections, Priorities & Goals workshop, it allows participants to look back, learn about themselves and learn from their experiences before making decisions about where they want to be in the future. Participants therefore leave the session with a plan for their personal development, goals with greater clarity, purpose and an appreciation of themselves that allows them to commit to what to making their aspirations their reality.